Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Pete Morin News Service---Issue #6

Newsflash from Washington, DC—August 5, 2009

It appears that Hillary Clinton will not be going to North Korea as reported earlier. Former President Bill Clinton has secured the release of two female journalists held by North Korean authorities. He is, at this writing, returning to the United States with the women and will personally be de-briefing them at his home. He might issue a report at a later date as to the success of the de-briefing.

Meanwhile, the Democratic National Committee is playing hardball on the healthcare issue. The Committee has been issuing reports to the media complaining about ‘radical, far right extremists’ distorting the president’s plan for healthcare coverage for all Americans. To combat this extremism, the President has been advised to hold town hall meetings with some of his loyal supporters. Therefore, President Obama will be appear at his next meeting with William Ayers and Jeremiah Wright who will help clarify the President’s message. Mr. Ayers and Rev. Wright, apparently, have some experience with radicalism and should offer invaluable assistance to the President in this regard.

Our sources indicate that the President plans to unveil a new government program called ‘Cash for the Cooler’. Evidently, the President is looking for several used coolers, preferably for beer, to be turned into the White House for cash. The used coolers will then be brought around the country for beer bashes hosted by President Obama. Anyone having a grievance that needs to be straightened out can contact Attorney General Eric Holder who will set up the beer bash.

The social security administration is releasing a new advertising campaign to assure senior citizens that the government program will not be revamped or changed in any way that might affect their benefits. The tag line of the ad campaign would be “Trillions in debt, but don’t fret, you’ll get what’s coming to you”. The President assured AARP that social security will be secure even if the treasury printing presses have to run twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year(366 in 2012), ten years to a decade, ten decades to a century, ten centuries to a millennium etc, etc…..

This news clip provided by the Pete Morin news Service

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