Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Pete Morin News Service --Issue #5

Newsflash from Washington, DC--August 4, 2009

With the congressional August recess in full swing, pols can expect very little respite from both the left and right concerning the passage of a healthcare bill. Before leaving on recess, Nancy Pelosi took one last parting shot at insurance companies by referring to them as ‘greedy’; one of the main reasons why healthcare must be reformed. She then flew to California on her taxpayer funded private jet to hear the concerns of her constituency.

Before the August recess lawmakers did, at least, get one bill passed; executive pay may now be reviewed by the government. By passing this bill congress hopes to have the country avoid another financial crisis. Also considered were the scheduled times and length of lunch breaks, morning and afternoon bathroom breaks and, to those employees working in cubicles, rules on raising one’s hand for permission to go to the potty at times other than scheduled breaks.

Former President Bill Clinton is in North Korea to try and secure the release of two journalists held captive by the North Koreans for several months. Should this attempt fail, it is assumed that Hillary will go to North Korea to secure the release of her husband. Failing that, it is expected that President Obama would go to North Korea to secure the release of Bill Clinton. It is rumored that Hillary Clinton was considering resigning her position as Secretary of State to possibly run against Obama in 2012. Hillary would probably be kept in North Korea for further questioning until at least 2013.

With the Defense Appropriations bill having recently been passed, a few small earmarks were added to guarantee passage of the bill.
1134 rider mowers for the constituents from John Murtha’s district
377 weed whackers for the constituents from David Obey’s district
596 rototillers for the constituents from Steny Hoyer’s district
1 crying towel for John Boehner
This news clip provided by the Pete Morin News Service

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