Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Pete Morin Editorial Review # 2012-16

Washington News Alert---

The Pete Morin News Service sat down with President Obama for an exclusive interview concerning the Benghazi terrorist attack. The following is a transcript of that interview.

PMNS: Mr. President, thank you very much for agreeing to an interview. As you know, the American people are very concerned about the events in Benghazi. The News Service has only a few questions.

POTUS: Certainly Pete, I'll answer any questions to the best of my ability.

PMNS: The attack on the consulate started at approximately 2:40 Eastern time and ended at 9:40 Eastern time. Were you at the White House during this time?

POTUS: Yes, I believe I was at the White House, except between the hours of 2:42 and 9:37 when I believe I was practicing my putting, or, perhaps shooting a few hoops.

PMNS: Regardless Mr. President, you would have been informed of the attack on the consulate?

POTUS: Certainly I would have been told.

PMNS: Mr. President. At what time were you informed that our consulate was under attack, and who told you?

POTUS: Well, as you know, we have an investigation going on to determine when I was informed and....

PMNS: Wait, wait Mr. President. It hardly seems necessary for you to investigate when you were informed and by whom. After all you were there.

POTUS: That's true Pete, but an investigation is still required to find out the exact particulars as to what happened at the consulate and to find out the extent to which the offensive video influenced the spontaneous attack. The attack should not be....

PMNS: Excuse me Mr. President, but that's not the question that I asked. I'm simply asking you to inform the American public as to when you knew the attack was happening and who informed you.

POTUS: There are not any simple answers to this question, Pete. After all. I could have been indisposed, or I could have turned an ankle on the court, or any other possibility......

PMNS: So, you don't know when you learned of these tragic events, or you just don't remember?

POTUS: That's correct Pete. We're still investigating when I was told what I knew when I knew it.

PMNS: Un--huh. Well, let's move on. On a radio interview in Denver this last week you said when you learned of the incident at the consulate you issued three clear directives-- and I quote: "Well, we are finding out exactly what happened. I can tell you, as I've said over the last couple of months since this happened, the minute I found out what was happening, I gave three very clear directives. Number one, make sure that we are securing our personnel and doing whatever we need to. Number two, we're going to investigate exactly what happened so that it doesn't happen again. Number three, find out who did this so we can bring them to justice."

PMNS: Well, # 1 Mr. President, obviously was unsuccessful. Regarding point #2. Isn't it a bit unusual to order an investigation when an attack is actually taking place? Wouldn't it be better to order such an investigation AFTER the attack?

POTUS: You're assuming, Mr. Morin, that I learned of the attack during the time of the attack. This is certainly not at all an established fact. Why, I could have learned about it in Las Vegas, or Hillary, or whoever could have passed me a note in the White House locker room. As I stated before, we're still doing an investiga.......

PMNS: Mr. President, please. The American people deserve an answer as to what......

POTUS: And I'm being as accurate and truthful as I can be, Mr. Morin!!!!! We will find out who was enraged by this disgusting YouTube video and tell them that, that they should not get angry just because America hasn't been good to them all the time and......

PMNS: Please!!!! Mr. President. Why didn't you simply order American planes and troops to Benghazi to stop the slaughter. Wouldn't that have accomplished your third point? That is, to bring the attackers to justice while it was actually happening?

POTUS: Because we weren't sure who told me what when, how, or if this wasn't just another fake attack by some phony al Qaeda group that we have already put back on their heels!! Besides, these are not questions that need to be answered during the campaign. There will be plenty of time to finish our investigation. Then we'll know who I am, where I was when what was supposed to have happened actually happened!!! Now, if you don't mind Mr. MORON, I've got to be off to Ohio. They deserve to hear about my new plan to get the Economy going. To provide birth control because that meany Mitt Romney wants all women pregnant in the kitchen and.........

The interview concludes with David Axelrod pulling the President away from the interview. But I can hear the President get emphatic as he states that all he needs are four more years to accomplish his goal of transforming America and possibly finishing the Benghazi investigation. 

This is the Pete Morin News Service reporting from Washington, D.C.