Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Pete Morin News Service--Issue #11

News flash from Washington, DC—August 15, 2009

President Obama has commissioned Senator Al Franken to come up with a slogan or saying that best incorporates how the administration will conduct itself with regards to getting and holding the trust of the American people. Senator Franken has released the following poem for the people’s consideration.

We won’t lie to you, our friends,
Trust and honor is our bond,
Don’t believe the crap you hear,
Of you, dear voter, we’re fond.

Tell those nasty town hall haters,
You won’t accept their trashin’,
Please listen to your great Obama,
Your welfare is his only passion.

From USPS, Amtrak and the United Nations,
We pledge all that is good and true,
Our promise is our legacy forever,
To never put the screws to you.

The President was, apparently, so touched by Franken’s poetic verse that he might present him with a new award, the ‘Saul Alinsky Community Comrade Citation’. Meanwhile, Congressman Pete Stark (CA) has presented a resolution to Congress that replaces the prayers for opening a session of Congress with the new poem.

A rift between the National Education Association and the Obama administration has been developing over President Obama’s suggestion that education for American children be changed from K-12 to K-10. Evidently, President Obama believes that students can learn to love their government in only ten years instead of twelve. The NEA believes that it takes at least twelve years to fully indoctrinate young minds in the good works of government. They issued the following statement: “We believe it is incumbent upon the American Education establishment to provide each student with a clear understanding of the works of Howard Zinn, Saul Alinsky, Noam Chomsky, Henry Louis Gates and especially the Jane Fonda Workout regimen before graduation and moving on to the liberal college of their choice.”

Lastly, in commemorating Woodstock, all government officials who were present at the original event will return for a reunion next weekend. For three days they will sing songs, swim in the nude, pass the hash pipes, have indiscriminate sex without protection and make believe they’re listening to Jimi Hendrix and his famous rendition of the ‘Star Spangled Banner’. They will then return to Washington to continue doing the peoples business.

This news clip provided by The Pete Morin News Service

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