News flash from Washington, DC---August 12, 2009
The day after what many are calling an ‘orchestrated town hall meeting’, President Obama is hitting the tried and true campaign trail again. He’ll head out west to Montana where the issue of healthcare is boiling over. The sticking point of contention there isn’t just healthcare for people, but healthcare for animals.
Prof. Singer, of the URDEAD committee, has convinced the President that healthcare for animals will be a big hit in the western states. PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) agrees. A spokesman for PETA has issued the following statement. “ President Obama recognizes the importance of animal care and the fact that all farmers should carry animal insurance. The people of Montana should be grateful to the President for proposing legislation to protect their animals.” No word as of yet how wording will be added to the current bill working its way through the House committee.
President Obama is attributing his 787 billion dollar stimulus bill to the recent drop in the unemployment rate. Citing the new figures, the President called for Congress to enact another stimulus bill. “Obviously, the stimulus worked. In order to make continued progress I’m recommending a new stimulus bill of 10 trillion dollars. This could drop the unemployment rate down to 9%.” To pay for the program the President has suggested issuing new hagiographic treasury bills. Secretary of the Treasury, Timothy Geithner gushed with enthusiasm for the new program. “If you’re not satisfied with the rate of return on the T bill, you just turn it a little sideways and a new rate of return appears in the face of the bill.” The Fed Chairman, Ben Bernanke, was less than pleased with this approach, but agreed to give it a try.
Nancy Pelosi has been taking a good amount of heat for the proposed purchase of six new private jets for Congressional use. “The use of these jets is extremely important to the Congress. After all, we can’t be expected to ride in first class on commercial flights. We need our own jets for planned junkets that take us all over the world in search of better ways to make government more efficient.”
This news clip provided by The Pete Morin News Service