Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Pete Morin News Service--Issue #28

News flash from Washington, DC December 17, 2009

The Pete Morin News Service has reported the Senate will vote for closure on the proposed healthcare legislation but, apparently, the vote has been held up by Senator Ben Nelson D-NE, who is now asking for more definitive language concerning abortion funding within the bill. PMNS has learned, however, that the real reason that Nelson is not supporting the bill is due to the fact that wheat farmers from Nebraska are extremely irritated that they are not being considered adequately in the bill. Word has it they are demanding all wheat harvests for the next 10 years must be purchased by the Federal Government and that third generation farmers must be given a new Government Motors car before they will agree to vote for Senator Nelson in 2010. The administration is looking into this request with the hope they can persuade Nelson to sign on to the bill.

Meanwhile, there are rumblings coming from other Democratic senators that they have not been promised enough earmarks in their districts. Senator Webb, D-VA, wants assurances that Virginia residents, who are registered Democrats, will be exempt from the pending healthcare legislation until the year 2080. Senator Lincoln, D-AR, is getting heat from Tyson Chicken for not including them in any prospective earmark. Senator Franken, D-MN, wants all stand up comics to be exempt from the pending legislation until Saturday Night Live is cancelled and Senator Schumer, D-NY, wants to have the 9/11 memorial finished before the legislation is finalized.

No word, as of yet, what Senator Burris, D-IL is asking for, but it is believed that he will be asking for the title of 'Burris-King of Lincoln' be placed on all Illinois license plates.

More interesting news to follow.

This has been a newsclip from the Pete Morin News Service

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